Choosing to let go of a marriage that you feel is no longer working is a tough decision to make and will require tremendous amounts of courage. If your partner is the one pressuring for the divorce, you may be feeling emotionally unprepared.
Seeking counselling is recommended if you are experiencing a hard time.
There are three different types of counselling that you may consider:
When to seek couples counselling
If neither you nor your spouse are sure if a divorce is necessary and there is still hope that the marriage can be saved.
- You and your spouse cannot have a constructive talk on your own, ending
with arguments when you try to discuss your relationship. - You have lost intimacy and there is no room for conversation.
If one side has decided to get a divorce but the other is not ready. – Counselling
will provide you and your partner a space to share each other’s feelings with a
mediator and help end the relationship in a more agreeable way
When to seek individual counselling
You are already in couples therapy and your therapist finds it necessary for you to have individual counselling.
You have not decided to get divorced but are not content with your marriage.
You are feeling low/depressed. You are anxious about your life and your future.
Your partner is depressed or anxious about something.
It’s good to think about individual counselling even if your partner doesn’t agree.
When to seek family counselling
Family counselling can provide space for both parents and children (depending on their age) to share their emotions and thoughts about divorce – especially to show children that divorce is not going to be the end of the parent-child relationship.
How to look for a counsellor
- JB Line
http://www.jbline.org/yellowpage - Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?tr=Hdr_Brand
● Type your city or zip code under Find Therapist.
● Check the issues that apply.
● Click Relationship.
● You can choose the therapist’s gender and language if you like.
Consult with a divorce lawyer
Even if you haven’t decided on a divorce, it may be helpful to speak to a divorce lawyer. By consulting with a divorce lawyer, you may be able to see marriage issues more clearly and find out whether divorce is an option.
Many people think you don’t need to see a divorce lawyer until you decide on divorce, but divorce lawyers are available at any point.
For example, you may be thinking about getting a divorce when your child finishes elementary school. In such a case, you can ask a lawyer how to prepare for a divorce in advance.
You may not want to get a divorce now, but you can ask a lawyer what kind of options you have if you decide in the future.
Please refer to “3.1.1. How to find a lawyer or mediator” in order to find a lawyer or a mediator.